Well, I took the day off today. I met up with my younger sister and her family for a day at the Monterrey Bay Aquarium.
Look how cute these Sea Horses are.
Today started as a really rough morning for me. I freaked out and cried my eyes out for about 30 minutes after receiving the worst email from my ex. He has now gone back on his word of helping me out with my mortgage for June. For those of you that do not know, my mortgage was increased by $400. He then proceeded to tell me that I have to get his name off of the mortgage loan by either applying for a new one on my own (which I cannot. I will not qualify) or that I need to get a co-signer on a new loan and if I do not he will seek a court order demanding that I sell the house right away to get his name off the loan. I am quite responsible and have never missed a mortgage payment in the 4 years we have been divorced but my ex is getting remarried in a few months and obviously he doesn’t want something to go wrong.
I am freaking out still about June’s mortgage and how I will barely be able to scrape up the money for it and when I do, I won’t be able to pay much of the other bills. So I know, I have no choice, I cannot afford this mortgage anymore. In the divorce settlement, the only thing I walked away with and cared about was this house and now due to the economy’s state I am heading towards maybe not even breaking even on the loan. At the time of the divorce ,we had earned quite a bit of equity but I am scared to find out whether or not any equity still exists.
I’m almost certain that I cannot even get renters in this house to cover the mortgage fees. I’m actually ok with letting go of the house. I guess in the end its not about the money I “earned” from my commitment to the marriage and our family. Its not about having a big chunk of money to slap down on a new home (as I had hoped to do in a few years). Right now, its about a new beginning. I have a new career in internet marketing that I love and people just do not seem to get it.
As I called my best friend on the phone to tell him about the news this morning he just simply said “Why don’t you just get a dental assisting job so you can keep the house”. Sure, I could get a dental assisting job so that at the end of the month I would have the money to pay for the mortgage and have the money to pay for property taxes in 6 months time but the biggest sacrifice in all of that is throwing away my dream. Working as a full time dental assistant and a single mom takes its toll on a person. Sure, I understand many of you dad’s that work full time come home from a 10 hour day and now you have to spend some time with the family and then try to squeeze in some time to work on your business. But chances are when you come home and walk through the door, you have dinner sitting on the table and your wife has probably already helped the kids with their home work so now you can enjoy some family time and go to work on your business. I would come home physically exhausted form my job, only to have to swing by and pick up my son from his grandmother’s (who manages to chat with me no less than an hour) and when I get home I have to whip up dinner, help my son with his homework, read with him or some other activity, bathe him, put him to bed and then its 9pm and I am ready to sleep.
I would much rather sacrifice this home right now and rent an apartment so that I can live within my means and continue to work on my business rather than sacrifice my business plan by having to work for someone else just so I can hang onto this house. Not to mention I hate having roommates! I think its actually worse to live with my sister than it was with 2 female roommates in the house. I need my space back and my sanity back! Anyhow, my business is my future. With this business there is success and when I earn my goal of 5k a month, I can then buy a new home. A home with my name alone on the loan, with my own money as the down payment and a home in the town and school district that I chose.
Swapping this house for a small apartment is just like what we have to do when we sacrifice would-be free time for slaving away at our business. We sacrifice and work hard now so we can reap the benefits and work less in the future. I still believe in my business and I still believe that my success is just around the corner. My day is coming!
My mother and I are going out for coffee tonight so I can talk to hear about all this and try to work something out as I will need help in the transition of fixing up the house to sell, to living with her while I find a place to live. I was always proud of the fact that I never returned to the nest once I left but pride in this areas is ridiculous. I need help and I am going to ask for it. I will be moving out of San Jose, CA. Its far too expensive and I do not wish to live here. When I was married, I always wanted to move to Southern CA. It was my dream but due to my then husband’s job, it would never become a reality. He works for UPS and they will not transfer supervisors unless they choose to transfer on their own accord. So I am considering moving to Southern CA. Some of you might think I am being a bitch for moving my son away from his dad but I have to do what’s best for my happiness too. I cannot kill myself and sacrifice my own well being just so I can make it convenient for my ex to visit our son. This very thought has plagued me since my divorce. I knew that moving out of SJ would some day happen, I just didn’t expect it to be this soon.
So any thoughts on where to live in SoCal?
Getting my house ready to sell is going to kill my 30 day challenge. I will do my best but I need to start clearing out the house to make it presentable for buyers. We’re going to hold a garage sale on Saturday so tomorrow I will be getting stuff ready to sell and now sure how much time I will have.
On another note, I asked for a refund on SEOLV. Just look at the dates ny articles were submitted with how many times or lack thereof, they have been published.
Yesterday’s adsense earnings: $31.06
Authority site’s earnings: $0.40
RSS Feeds
on
Wow, Sara, this is horrible – but I know you will pull through and be even stronger because of it. I know exactly what you are talking about regarding the fear of going back to work and time with your son, and it was for the exact same reason that I decided to do internet marketing as well. I have a lot of fears financially as well about what will happen if I can’t support myself soon fully by these efforts. However, you are earning a nice amount each month right now from your IM efforts, and I’m sure that will continue to grow – and hopefully it will grow fast enough to work out for you. And it sound like your family will able to provide you some support (at least emotionally) as well in this transition.
In terms of moving to Southern California, I grew up in the central coast area of California (around San Luis Obispo) and I have very fond memories of that area – although I don’t think it is necessarily cheap to live there either. Santa Barbara is beautiful as well, but I must admit I’m not fan of many of the areas further south, so I can’t help you much with that.
Don’t give up on your dreams – I’m sure it will work out for you (somehow) in the end.
.-= Michelle´s last blog ..Interesting SERP Movements =-.
Sorry to hear about your troubles. I was feeling down recently, but have had some major success recently. What did i do? Well in addition to some article marketing, I went back and attacked my older sites with hundreds of profile and blog comment backlinks. The results? Incredible! Most of the sites i backlinked are now ranking above the fold, whereas before they were all at the bottom of page 1/top of page 2.
I know you have got about 100 sites, why don’t you stop creating new content for the time being, and just go all out and blitz the best sites with backlinks? I know thats against the advice of many people, but here is an example: one site was making about 50c per day and was in position 11. After my crazy all out backlinking attack, it is at number 4. Today it made $9. Im going back and doing this for all 30 of my sites – its very time consuming and tiring, but the results are great.
Hi Dan,
What did you use for back linking?
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Finished 3 Amazon Snipers Today =-.
Mainly profile backlinks, although that was in addition to the usual load of articles, and some blog comments. However I feel the key here was BULK – I did about 400/500 profile backlinks alone. On each profile i linked to 4 sites. The other vital point is that i built the list myself and didnt purchase it – they are mainly pr 4-6 sites, however because i went out and found them myself, most of them havent been spammed yet. 2 weeks after putting in my first links, i went back and checked them. 90% were still intact.
Finding them took about 3 days, and i created the profiles first, then went back a week later and put the links in. The drawback was the time to build them, but I am now convinved they do work, but they are not a magic pill.
Im just posting this because i think it can help sara if she picks say 30 of her most promising sites (low competition and high CPC) and backlink the hell out of them.
Dan,
I am interested in learning about this too and it is good advice since Sara has so many sites. Are the profile sites types of sites where you also add a blog or make a forum post or did you just set up profiles? And did you do anything to get them recognized by engines? Also did you use a tool to find them ? Deb
I didn’t bother with blogs or posts, just made the profiles that were publicly viewable. To get them indexed i just pinged each one and posted to a blog, so far about 75% have been indexed which is fine by me. The key is to go for “under the radar” forums, and LOTS of them. Im sick of it at the moment so im going to create content for the next couple of weeks
Sara -
Wow. Black holes think this SUCKS.
I recommend you go to daveramsey dot com, click on the “ELP” (endorsed local provider) for mortgage in your area and get into contact w/them asap. I think a short sale may be in your future, but whatever your plans, these guys will really help walk you thru your options on the house thing.
Sorry!!
Going back on your word…not a manly thing to do. I want to thank you, too, for your dedication to your dream: your priorities are spot on there – best to rent, live w/in your means, and build a passive income – and you know your stuff, just keep trucking on that note.
My mom wanted to buy us a house in Vacaville, where we’re from, but we took that money and invested in a franchise on the eastern sea board…yikes, that was a disaster, but my head was pointing the right direction.
Building a biz that you know works w/little overhead and little risk = the way to go. Stick w/it, and thanks for a great post.
Just so you understand the chronology here, I posted about an earlier post you did on the SEO and backlink tool review – I missed that post, need to check my RSS reader more often – good work on that! So: I didn’t read *this post* and *then* post my post – I just came back to see what all I’d missed.
(I think it sounds more legitimate knowing that I didn’t do some lame pity post – although I do feel horrible for this current news – you earned my endorsement hands-down.)
Great. Between you and KJFleming and MikeIser – I’m getting zilch done. Stop making your posts so engrossing…it’s making me hit pause on my own progress…just scrape an ezine in here, run it thru a spinner and submit it for once…
.-= JamestheJust on Elance´s last blog ..Looking For The Quickest Way To Rewrite Articles? Here Is How The Best Spinner And Magic Article Rewriter Compare (Part One) =-.
Sara, I was a little depressed when I read your post about the latest turn of events in your personal life. I had been following your blog and I am subscribed to your feeds but this is my first post here. The mortgage payments in the US is just unbelievable. Here in the Philippines, $250 per month will rent you a nice house for a whole family and I cannot fathom that $400 per month is merely an increase in monthly mortgage payments. In a sense, we are lucky to be in this part of the world where the cost of living is way much lower.
I would advise you not to give up your dreams.NEVER..NEVER..GIVE UP.. To accept that work as a dental assistant would mean that you will be giving up your dreams. I had been learning a lot from reading your blog and I am praying that you will make it to $5,000 per month.
As the Director of http://www.backlinksphilippines.com I would like to extend some help in the form of free profile backlinks. We will give you 400 free profile backlinks. What we ask in return is a live documentation here in your blog of how the backlinking goes and what are its effects to your rankings. That’s all. I hope that, in one little way, we can help you hold on to your dreams so that you can continue giving your readers like me some valuable insights.
I would appreciate if you can contact me at my e-mail address.
.-= John R. Dales´s last blog ..What Is SEO And How Backlinks Help In Better Serp’s =-.
Wow, that is really sweet John! Take him up on it Sara!!
.-= Carrie´s last blog ..Got the House, Almost – Shifting Gears =-.
Thank you very much for your kindness John. I have sent you an email.
@ Sara – Backlinks Phillipines is the same profile backlinking service I had mentioned before that I have been using. They are the ones that I was recommended by Terry Kyle. Great service and they get indexed and stick. John and his team are awesome. They also do the double pass linking for Terry’s packet, it just cost a little extra due to the added time for the doubles.
.-= Matthew DC´s last blog ..Earnings Update =-.
There are quite a few people in Terry’s forum who have used Backlinks- Phillipines and rave about how well they work with you. They are on my list of people to work with when I get to that point.
Also Sara I’m sorry life has thrown you a curve ball. But I agree with everyone who supports your goal of not giving up your dream. It sounds like you have a solid plan.
I’ve only been to California a couple of times. I spent time in the Laguna Beach area and loved it. (I’m from the Midwest and didn’t know there was more than one type of palm tree lol). It was so beautiful there. It might be expensive there though. But there are a lot of towns along the coast there.
Good luck!
Sandy
I am thinking about Laguna Beach. 2 bedrooms run about 1k a month there. In San Jose, the average 2 bedroom apartment runs $1,600-1,800. but for now, the city my parents live in has 2 bedrooms for under $700.00. I’m not sure how long I will live with my parents at this point. It could be 6 months it could be a year.
John,
Please clarify…
Your package of 40 links means that you will set up 40 accounts with 5 links each, or is it a total of 40 links, as in 8 accounts with 5 links each?
Thanks,
Evita
Nevermind, found the info on your site
Hey Sara – sorry to hear your news. I have been following your blog for a while, and wondered if you knew about the USD$1 trial for UAW – you follow a special link and get the first month for a dollar. Guessing you may already have signed up to UAW in the past, but just drop me a note (you have my email from this comment) and I can send you the URL.
.-= SirCaptain´s last blog ..Day 10 Update =-.
Hi Sara,
I’d talk to an attorney to see if your ex can actually do this… especially since there is a child involved.
Then I’d talk to the mortgage company. They may be able to work with you. They are more likely to talk with you though after you are some months behind. The workings of the banks take time… You still have a lot of time on your hands.
Glad to hear that your ex is your ex and not your current. Gggrrrrrrr………
OK, gotta go to work so have to run.
Evita
From my understanding if you are both on the loan equally (one of you is just not on there in case of foreclosure or death) I believe if you can prove to the bank that you can afford to stay there-they should be able to take your Husband off. This is horrible to say, but when you are self-employed you can always *beef* up your earnings.
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Finished 3 Amazon Snipers Today =-.
Sorry–**Ex-Husband**
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Finished 3 Amazon Snipers Today =-.
Sara,
I’m so sorry all of this is happening. It must be very stressful. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know. In the meantime I will pray for you.
Now, you know that my advice is usually against the grain but I do think now is a time to re-evaluate your life. It sounds like you want to work from home which I completely understand, but maybe that isn’t 100% do-able right now. See, I’m thinking long-term here. Put in the work now and then live the life you want a year or two from now. I know that isn’t what you want to hear but I don’t want you to keep struggling if you don’t have to.
My advice based on what little I know would be to find an area to move to where you can drastically reduce your cost of living. I know that may suck for your son and his father, but what can you do. Next, could you get a part-time job to supplement your online income? I’ve worked FT with two kids and I know it is tough (a working husband helps some, but it is still rough) but I would rather see you get yourself set up for the future by working hard now. Kinda like banging out 100 mini-sites
Work now, save money, rent a small place, but most importantly, have a plan. If you can reduce your cost of living, save up X amount of money, and get your online income to a comfortable spot, then you should be golden forever. Work hard now to eliminate any worries in the future.
Anyway, not trying to tell you how to run your life but just wanted to give you some things to consider. I know this is a tough time but it is also a perfect time to restart your life in the direction you want to go. Best of luck!
.-= Carrie´s last blog ..Got the House, Almost – Shifting Gears =-.
I feel horrible about airing out my dirty laundry but I have been and will always be honest on this blog. My income earnings are not inflated (as I have been accused of on another blog) nor am I earning more than I let on to believe. I am definitely in a bad position right now as my ex’s side is just getting more ugly.
Basically I am looking to lose 100k if I sell my house right now. And on top of that my ex expects me to still pay him back for the property taxes he has been paying for over the past 4 years (as it was outlined in our divorce agreement). In order to avoid going into foreclosure, my parents have suggested that I move in with them and rent out the house so that I can pay back more into the house loan and my mom; bless her heart and belief in me says “and when your business picks up more then you can decide whether to move anywhere you want to. Be it back in your house or anywhere else”. I think moving in with my parents is my best option right now so that i can hang onto the house otherwise I lose everything and am still in the hole to my ex.
Now the only problem is he is being a jackass telling me I cannot move in with my parents because its “too far” (its about a 2 1/2 hour drive south). So it makes me think he will get even nastier and try to get the courts involved to prevent me from moving out of the area. San Jose is expensive to live and he knows this and yet he would rather force me to kill myself living in a place that I cannot afford to live in.
I’m going to need to speak with a lawyer ASAP so I know what he can and cannot do instead of bullying me around.
I’m really sorry, Sara. If your ex is going to be a jerk there is only so much you can do. You’re lucky to have your parents around though, that’s good to hear.
I hope you don’t mind my advice even though I know you don’t need it (I just do it b/c I want you to be secure). You have shown yourself here to be smart and hard-working and I have no doubt things will be much, much better a year or two from now.
And I like hearing your dirty laundry
I just wish I could do something to help. It does seem like a single mom in CA could find some assistance. Hopefully that mortgage modification thing pans out.
.-= Carrie´s last blog ..Got the House, Almost – Shifting Gears =-.
I agree – you don’t have to feel bad at all about airing your dirty laundry here. As you can see from the comments, we all see you as much more than just a blog full of useful advice (although, this blog is of course full of useful advice too) and we’ve got to know the personal side too. I was so sorry to read this but I know that you’re strong and whatever happens I just know you’re going to succeed. If your plans are delayed you’re still going to get there – and like Yolanda said it is still all a step forward towards your goals. Good luck whichever route you feel you have to take, and don’t worry about your challenge while you’re working this out!
.-= Ruth – Web Career Girl´s last blog ..Beautiful Day Here: Got Me Thinking About My Goals =-.
Well, the thing is that if you go into foreclosure, so does he. There is no way for him to get his name off the foreclosure suit….
Even if you put the house up for sale, it may take some time to get it sold. And in the meantime HE needs to make sure you are current to keep HIS credit in good standing.
It is in his best interest to work with you on this.
Realistically speaking, how much more money would you need a month to stay, and do you like the house enough to want to try?
Chances are that your Adsense income will keep growing as your sites begin to mature. Your income may double in the next few months. (Or not. I don’t know the numbers for your sites)
Evita
totally agree w/Evita.
Build your empire and leave this cat in the dust.
.-= JamestheJust on Elance´s last blog ..Want A Qualified Opinion On SEO Tools? Sarah’s Noteworthy Post On SEO Tools Is Hot Like Magma With Habanero Sauce =-.
btw, evita – what’s your email address?
I know: stupid question, i just wanted to follow up w/you on a question you posed to me on another blog, and i actually just wanted to answer the question.
mine’s “theaveragegenius@gmail.com”
email me when you’re super bored (it’s not that big a deal, but I owe you an explanation on something)
.-= JamestheJust on Elance´s last blog ..Want A Qualified Opinion On SEO Tools? Sarah’s Noteworthy Post On SEO Tools Is Hot Like Magma With Habanero Sauce =-.
Don’t feel bad about showing you are human too Sara. I don’t know if you are aware of this, but Obama has the mortgage companies doing this “Home Affordable Modification” program. I got my mortgage dropped from $1125 to $867 for the life of the loan. It was a little bit of paper work but worth it. Call your mortgage company and ask them about it.
.-= Cathy´s last blog ..Rainy Days and Mondays Always Get Me Down…Well Not Always =-.
Sara – It sounds like you really need to talk to a lawyer and to someone about modifying your loan, and I really think things will work out well for you in the end. I’ve been in pretty much the same situation – had to move in with my mother after my husband and I separated last year, and although it’s hard to return to the nest, there are definite advantages as well – not the least, having someone to help looking after my son for a few hours each day, which is allowing me to grow my own business while saving on expenses (and reinvesting in my business). I’m sure if you go that route, it will only be temporary, but it may actually work out very well for your business/dreams in the end. In terms of the move, I’d be very surprised if your husband could do anything to stop it legally, especially since his going back on his word is what is putting you in this place – but definitely talk to a lawyer about this and put an end to any bullying.
.-= Michelle´s last blog ..Interesting SERP Movements =-.
Yes, I do agree that living with the parents is the best thing right now and I know it will be good for my son and I even if it is just temporary.
I spoke with my real estate agent/dear friend and she gave me a few suggestions with this. I guess starting June 1st Obama’s Loan Modication will help reimburse some of the payments to the mortgage companies so they can offer lower mortgage payments to home owners. So that is definitely worth looking into.
Sara,
Consider this a step forward, instead of step back. I guarantee that when you look back after having surpassed earning $5,000 per month, you’ll see how much you’ve progressed.
BTW, I live in Southern California, but after my wedding in August, I/we may be possibly moving to Northern California since my fiancee works at the State Capitol.
If you’re looking to save money, I highly recommended you look for housing in areas outside of major Southern California cities, because living in Los Angeles, Pasadena, Orange County, etc will be expensive — with “rent” for 1bd/1bth ranging from $1,000 – $2,500+ (…and most be DO have roommates).
If you can look outside of these cities into areas like Claremont, Whittier, the Inland Empire, Diamond Bar, Pomona, etc, then you will be able to find something more affordable.
A great resource to utilize is: http://www.city-data.com/city/California.html
Be sure to read their forums! I can’t stress this enough, because you WILL get a perspective on what really happens within certain cities. These forums were a godsend when I considered moving to Houston in order to teach a few years ago.
Thanks for the information Yolanda. I will definitely do some research before I head down south. I want a good school for my son with a good family community to be a part of.
I’d like to avoid the LA area since I do not find it very appealing to sit in 3 hours of traffic to travel 10 miles on the freeway. haha! good thing my work commute will only be a few feet away no matter where I move.
Yolanda -
YOU HAVE to check out Vacaville – and no, I’m not kidding. You’ll pass it on your way to Sac-town, Vacaville’s my hometown (was for 20 years, met my wife there). You can’t miss it with the Nut Tree shopping center/Factory Outlets on 80.
Home SICK.
.-= JamestheJust on Elance´s last blog ..Want A Qualified Opinion On SEO Tools? Sarah’s Noteworthy Post On SEO Tools Is Hot Like Magma With Habanero Sauce =-.
I purchased the xfactor guide so we’ll see how it goes. I clicked through your link so hopefully you’ll get an affiliate commission from it. Just wondering if you joined the forums as well?
.-= Mike Roosa´s last blog ..Entering A DoFollow Zone =-.
Thanks Mike! Its worth it. You will learn some new things and fire up your online earnings.
Yes, I joined the forum several months ago. I think its a fantastic one time offer. John has been releasing weekly audios for forum members that are not released publicly. So that is one advantage too,
I was given the book from my brother-in-law, who thought that it took too much work. I now get an income every month, so good on you, Mike! I think I’ll join the forum as well…maybe next month I think.
You just whet my appetite. John’s stuff is absolutely spot-on – I read that book and was on fire! And he doesn’t steer you wrong, either – only when people misunderstand what he’s about, or take the “Cliff Notes” of what he’s said, do they go wrong.
Hi,
San Diego would be my suggestion for you.
The coastal areas are really what southern cal is really about.
Been living here for 24 years and still love it!
Take Care
We went on Vacation there isn’t San Diego really expensive-or maybe that was just for the tourists!
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..My Goals for the Future =-.
Expensive compared to where?
Kelly –
You bet it’s expensive…but when you’re in Cali, you get the Cali income, so you don’t really notice it that much.
Bluewave:
Expensive compared to…the rest of the world with few exceptions…
.-= JamestheJust on Elance´s last blog ..Want A Qualified Opinion On SEO Tools? Sarah’s Noteworthy Post On SEO Tools Is Hot Like Magma With Habanero Sauce =-.
I absolutely love San Diego but yes, its very expensive to live there.
I’m looking into laguna beach or laguna niguel. There are some affordable 2 bedrooms to rent there and the school districts are really nice.
Laguna Beach and Laguna Niguel are nice.
Used to live a few towns south in San Clemente.
Sara,
Been a while, sorry just had issues with my 2 year old son having surgery etc so haven’t been able to post much.
Anyway, I saw your post and just thought I’d also add to the support. Just cast your mind back to that poster you made of all your dreams a few months ago. Don’t give up on that now, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. Think of this as a challenge.
You’re already thinking about alternative accommodation within your means which is the right direction. Also, here in the UK we can speak to our credit card companies and they can freeze the interest payments if you give them a sob story. that should buy you some time until you can figure out what’s going to happen.
Anyway, things tend to happen for a reason and I think in your case it may be a blessing in disguise.
Good luck with everything, just shout if you need anything.
Zaheer
x
I have been wondering about you Zaheer. How is your son doing now? I can’t imagine the stress of sending your baby through surgery.
Thanks for your support Zaheer. I hope all is well with you.